Friday, May 21, 2010

"Keep your pants on, boy."

As a boy, i don't recall ever getting the sex talk from my folks. i do recall an awkward afternoon at Disney World watching the Miracle of Life with them. Afterwards, they asked, "Any questions?" To which i responded, "Can we go see the Indiana Jones Stunt Show?" And that was that.



My friend Brandon told us that his sex talk consisted of his father telling him, "Brandon, keeps your pants on boy." How parents handle the sex talk is interesting. How Christians handle the topic is equally intriguing. When Christian discuss sex, it's usually in regards to how to convince their kids to never ever do it until they are at least 50 (at which point they figure it's about as exciting as the Miracle of Life).




i've heard (and used many) all the arguments from scriptural deterents to pragmatic warnings about emotional damage, pregnancy and STI's. But i heard a new one today... "Do it for the poor." What? No, seriously, keep your pants on, if you care about the poor. Whether you're a Christian, a Muslim, a Jew, a Hindu, a Hulu or a humanist, do it for the poor.




In a fascinating article by Jennifer Morse, she calls for any and all people who care about Social Justice (the kind of equality Jesus called for and not just the catch phrase given a bad name these days) to think about the consequences of their flippant attitudes about early, teen nd unwed sex. It's destructive to the poor. This is perhaps one of the best arguments i've heard or read for avoiding premarital sex and among the most likely to be influential to today's young generations.




As she says, "This one policy area has the potential to increase black wealth, education and power. This major cultural course correction could reduce drug use, delinquency and violence, especially black on black crime. I am speaking of course, of marriage as a social justice issue...




...A recent publication by the Boston-based Seymour Institute, “God's Gift: A Christian Vision of Marriage and the Black Family”, spells out the case for marriage as the most important next step for the future of black America. The report cites the fact that married families in the black community have twice as much income as unmarried black families...




[John] McWhorter observes that the high proportion of single parent families among blacks is a relatively new development, and not something that can be attributed to some amorphous “legacy of slavery.” 'In poor black areas of Chicago during the 1920s, it was considered a problem that 15 percent of births were out of wedlock. Once the Depression hit, that number went down to under 10 percent.'




...Among black children living with two parents, poverty rates plunged from 61% in 1959 to just 13% in 1995, marking incredible progress. By that time, most black families were no longer living below the poverty line. Yet that same year, the poverty rate among black kids being raised by single women was fully 62%...




...Elite opinion that celebrates diverse family forms is actively destructive of social justice. Our culture glamorizes early sexual activity, unmarried sexual activity, and unmarried childbearing. But these cultural influences have very different implications for poorly educated, low-income women of color, than for the elite opinion-makers who graduate from exclusive universities.




Upper class people have created a norm of years of unmarried, sterile sex before settling down to marry and raise a couple of children. But as these ideas cascade down the socio-economic ladder, they produce unmarried sexual activity with quite different consequences.




Young people are often the most idealistic and zealous proponents of new social movements. So, I offer this challenge especially to the young: if you want to do something to help the poor, quit idealizing unmarried sexual activity. Some sexual lifestyle decisions you can get away with. But those very same choices would be a disaster for the poor.



So I challenge college students and young adults to ask yourself this question when you are making your decisions about sex: If a high-school drop-out did this, would it be good for her or not? If the answer is no, don't do it! Or at least, have the decency to keep your mouth shut about social justice."