Thank you! I want to take a moment to say thank you to my Sunday school teachers, educators, and ministers. I want to say thank you for Children’s Church. Why? Because it’s not in VOGUE among my peers just now. And it makes me bats-in-the-belfry crazy.
My mother was a GREAT mom. One her many mommy parenting success secrets was our play pen. These were also not in vogue when my mother was raising us. Other parents would give her anything from a look of surprise to a look of disgust when she told them she had and used a play pen. You really contain/imprison/restrict your children like that?! No, my mother was a genius. A play pen wasn’t just containment. It was safety when she needed to answer the door or the phone or respond to an emergency. And when my little sister came along, she had safe sanctuary from a rough and tumble boy while she played and imagined. I was not allowed in or near the play pen by then and it was her world. And over the years, it was a boat, a fort, a castle, and so many other fun things for us both. Used with love and creativity to a purpose, it was wonderful.
What does this have to do with Children’s Church? Children’s church was a time during the worship service when we were removed from the service. (I’ll wait for all you new age parents to get your jaws off the floor and begin painting your protest signs and preparing your blog reposts about the value of screaming children during the sermon) You done yet? Great.
We were never removed for the whole service (infants were never there for the whole service, but were cared for by very happy folks in the church, many of whom were grandparent age or not yet parents and got their baby fix during this time). We, as children, were there for all the call to worship, singing, reading of scripture, and children’s sermon (which included baptisms whenever they happened). Then, we left before the sermon. Brilliant.
Why? Because I (and so many kids) were distracting, disruptive, loud, and a handful during the sermon? YES. AND… no. That was a huge help, yes. My mom, who often attended by herself, was able to sit and focus on the sermon and her adult walk in faith. And when I hit middle school or thereabouts, I could begin doing the same. There was plenty of rambunctious activity all during the beginning of the service, awkward loud questions, outbursts, messes. And yes, that made a joyful noise and was part of us being the whole body of Christ. It was a joyous cacophony. But that wasn’t the only reason to have Children’s Church. It wasn’t just to clear out the distractions at half time.
Having Children’s Church DID teach me. And it didn’t teach me OR the parents that I wasn’t welcome in church. My teachers used that time to teach me ABOUT church. They taught me Bible stories and songs. They taught me how to sing with my friends, how to play with them, how to respect them, how to listen when someone else was telling us all something important, how to share, how to pass things, how to be kind, why we worship, who we worship, how we worship. It PREPARED me to actually worship. It was the Mr. Rogers time I needed as a kid to learn how to be me in my church. I was taught how to prepare my heart and mind, something lacking in so many. I see so many teens and young adults tuned out, bored, on their phone, reading a book during worship. It’s often not because they don’t believe or they’re bored. They and their parents often tell me that it’s because they don’t know how to focus those hearts and minds or to spend that community time attuned. It’s so rarely simply a lack of respect, but a lack of awareness.
We have a Sunday school class for confirmands, our eighth graders at my church. Are most of them mentally and emotionally prepared to attend the high school class? Could they grasp the material intellectually and even behave well enough to not be a distraction? Most of them, yes. But we don’t give them a separate class just to not be a distraction from the lesson in the high school class. We pull them aside for a year to PREPARE them for the high school class, the high school youth group. They are not excluded from youth activities or worship or the life of the whole church. But they are pulled aside for part of the time in order to teach them what it means to be an adult in the Church, to grow them in their faith at this important time, to help them mature.
This is why I am so deeply thankful to my teachers and ministers. They showed me love, and they helped me grow by using the time in worship to prepare me. I got to participate in the full worship time more and more as I grew from an infant to a child to an adult in my church. When my mother taught us to swim, she started us in the kiddy pool and then the shallow end and eventually the deep end and diving board. As an adult, I do not begrudge her for limiting my access to the entire pool before I learned to swim. It wasn’t about the splashing and ruckus I might cause that would impede divers or lap swimmers, though I would have, and that would be a good enough reason! It was about preparing me for greater and greater participation as I learned and grew, with more and more responsibility at each step. Maybe we could begin thinking of children in worship like that. Their participation is desired and a joy, and to make it meaningful, we should prepare them and teach them and ready them as they mature and grow. Loving our kids requires patience and preparation beyond exposure. I am glad so many people in my young life recognized that. It has served me well.
